“Have you ever planned a vacation break for yourself and then dumped the plan due to other things taking priority?
“Did you plan on taking up that much-awaited course but stepped back as you had to stay back taking care of the child?
“Have you stepped out of your career when you were enjoying it to relocate because of your spouse’s work needs?
Bottom line what I want to ask you is-
Did you put yourself last when it came to major decisions of your life?
You craved for that small nap, vacation, break, learning something new, upgrading yourself, but had to postpone it.
If you have answered yes to any one, then you need to read ahead.
How did it all start?
I have been guilty of it too and to share with you all, it took a heavy toll on me. Time and again the little voice in my head kept saying “DO IT” but I ignored it.
What is this little voice in your head that keeps talking to you? Could it be messages that your soul is trying to send you? Have you ever trusted it and followed it?
I placed more emphasis on a lot of things outside me. I never acknowledged, though I knew, I needed rest. The little voice would say ‘ Take some rest and see how you can motor faster”. “Take that break and you will feel rejuvenated. But I kept ignoring it.
In between, managing household responsibilities, picking and dropping a toddler, getting back to work post maternity and picking up from where I left at work, handling visiting family, keeping in touch with friends and family I was working like a machine non-stop. I had even put behind my hobbies and interests, calling up friends. I was squirming in my corporate job. Not that the job was a problem. I had good opportunities, comfortable job, good pay and seniors. I somehow felt hollow. My work seemed all virtual as there was no real human/customer connect. All I wrote was pages and pages of code. But it paid well and I had a decent lifestyle.
Did I pay attention?
But there was always this little voice within me which pursued. It kept reminding me to go back to basics. Find things that I love doing, which in this crazy fast-paced life I missed observing. I had a burnout and a real one! That is where I stopped, paused and stepped back to take stock of what I am doing and for whom.
There was no real joy in just providing and being for others. I ignored my health and mental calmness completely. In 2009, I suffered a severe cervical spondylosis episode which needed help to get up and do my activities. I couldn’t hold up my neck and shoulder pain was excruciating. My son was just 9 months old and I had to take help to take care of myself. I was in dumps and it took some effort for me to pay attention to what I wanted.
It was very uncomfortable in the beginning to pay attention to myself. I was always externally focused to always give. Receiving was unknown to me. I went through physical therapy and got better. Only to go back to work and continue having niggling issues with my health. The little voice kept telling me” Is it worth throwing yourself out and still carrying on?”
The little voice kept telling me” Is it worth throwing
yourself out and still carrying on?”
I would like to ask dear soul crafters-Have you been doing this to yourself? Have you kept going through work due to financial demands or for promotion or simply to maintain that lifestyle ignoring your health or feelings?
Finally in 2011, I quit.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I retraced 1000+ steps to find where I had left myself. Not sure what I should be doing or where should I start again. The voice within me pointed me back to my hobbies and interests. I took it up for a while. I realized I missed so much of this creativity and imagination through my job days.My spouse’s suport was a blessing. Soon I was able to get back on my feet after resting well. I started my denim upcycling venture since I was able to connect to the larger purpose of environmental consciousness and my path opened to newer possibilities.
This was a stark contrast of my corporate career.
Here I had to do everything myself and be accountable for my own effort and results. But it opened floodgates to creative, innovative, design work which was a complete 360 deg turn. I simply enjoyed the whole immersive process. Creating designs and then making it happen, learning new tools and techniques to aid the process. My brain was bursting with ideas. I had no know-how about textiles, fashion, sewing. Somehow things fell in place and I learnt entrepreneurship in the field.
I have to admit that the past few years have been thoroughly enriching. In retrospective, I can now connect the dots. That small voice within me wanted me to be in the best space. It kept prodding and reminding me to step out of my comfort zone – the zone of known and predictable and jump right into the unknown!
It was the unknown & uncertainty that put life back in me
and find solutions to my own challenges.
As the caterpillar has to metamorphosis into a butterfly, I had to go through the uncertain, difficult times to reach within myself and get in touch with my higher soul. I am still W-I-P and this has completely transformed me inside-out. Today as I connected the dots while writing my book – Bring Out That Red Lipstick, I realized that I had buried my feminine energies. My feminine energies of nurturing self, being empathetic to self, allowing myself to receive, expressing myself to my true potential, being passionate for a cause. It took a rude reminder to jolt me out of my dominant hypermasculine energy phase.
A little introspection is all it takes
Have you heard, felt yourself today? Take some time out to be alone with yourself. Listen, feel, hear what is your soul telling you. Most times it talks to us, it is only we who ignore it. Get in touch with your core. It never misguides. Step into that beautiful power of self. There are a lot of activities that you can adopt for creating your me-space. Unleash your creativity. To know more about how u can do it, read my post here: Unlocking and crafting your inner creativity. You know what they are. You have all the resources within you. Time is not a factor here. Excuses for lack of time will only push you further away from your path of realizing your ultimate potential.
Go take that long-postponed break!
Enroll in that course that you wanted to take up!
Do not postpone the dream of building a unique ecosystem, social work, charity, building that small venture, farming etc. You will find your way. As your intentions start focusing, energy starts flowing towards it and opening opportunities and options for you to explore. One thing I can assure you is that it is not an easy journey to move from certainty to uncertainty. Yet it will be a highly fulfilling and worthy cause to take up for yourself.
I will leave you with these lines by Sheldon Silverstein. I have also quoted in my book – Bring out that red lipstick. It touched me very deeply and it goes like this:
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If you want to understand the masculine-feminine energies balance, you then you should definitely grab a copy of my book. I have decoded these learnings in a beautiful, clear, easy-to-implement framework in my book “Bring out that Red Lipstick”. The book is now available on Amazon in paperback & Kindle formats too.